Limitations…Real or Imagined?

Through yoga and other spiritual practices, we are taught that we are limited most by the content of our own minds. When I first came to yoga, negative self-talk and fear were more than passing thoughts, they felt like a very definite and unchangeable reality. The limited ways I saw myself kept me from living my life the way I wanted to. I didn’t even know how imprisoned I was, yoga woke me up to the fact. As I began to work with this less-than-useful patterning, it proved to be a very difficult time in my practice and life. I was aware that I needed to change the thoughts that I allowed to keep space in my head, however the negative patterns were more deeply rooted than I had supposed. Trying and trying left me feeling like a failure, because the limiting thoughts rushed back in. Feeling like I was failing intensified the self-limiting thoughts. This was a fierce and fiery time. Though it felt extremely uncomfortable at times, I had a strong desire to be free, I had hope that it was possible, and I kept returning to my practices…no matter how petty and unproductive it felt at times. We do not always notice the changes we are making when we’re in the midst of struggle. Many times it is only when we come out the other side that we can finally see just how far we’ve come.

Nearly a decade of practice later, a tremendous amount of the limitations I once lived with have either been uprooted entirely, or just hang out lazily in the background, lifting their heads to spout some of their usual negativity on days that I’m especially tired, over-busy, or navigating through new emotional territory.

This brings us to today. I’ve found myself being drawn to investigate the man and the teachings of Sri Ramana Maharshi, the great yogi and sage. I found a video on his life and as I heard Ramana’s words in his soft, sweet, voice I had to pause the video and rewind so that I could record his statement:

“You impose limitations on your true nature of infinite being and then believe that you are but a finite creature. Then you take up this or that practice to transcend the non-existent limitations. But if your practice itself assumes the existence of limitations, how can it help you to transcend them?”

His words stopped me in my thought-tracks! I suppose this is not a message that was entirely new to me but his clearly stated words broke something open in my heart. Could I, or was I even willing to live from a place where I assume that there is nothing to be overcome? I have surely treated myself at times like I am a project to be fixed, to be constantly worked on, and corrected. Sri Maharshi’s compassionate words brought me to pause. Just what in fact could be possible for me, for you, if we assumed the position of infinite self, non-limited being? Could my practice be more playful, curious, and authentic if I weren’t always driving myself in the name of “improvement”? Improvement assumes that something is currently unacceptable. Ramana was suggesting otherwise, nothing to be fixed, everything we need is already here. My definition of “improvement” (as well as limitation) is created by my finite ego-self anyway! So how can I know what improvement will look like with my mind of limited ideas? What is the inherent potential of a practice, or a life that assumes no limitations?

The Yoga Sutras define one of the 5 fluctuations of the mind (vrittis) as vikalpa-imagination. And aren’t we constantly imagining! This imagination can truly be a source of pain for us as we speak in negative ways to ourselves in our heads, as we dream up worst-case-scenarios and waste our time with “what-ifs”. A better use of our imagination might be to imagine our spiritual objectives, see successes, review the loving things we’ve done for others and that others have done for us. Yet even this misses the mark! If we could let go of imagination entirely, we would see the truth of our essence that is underneath even thinking positively about ourselves. The biggest truth is that we already are that which we are seeking! Underneath all of our intricately woven stories of self and others-we are simply divine energy wearing a temporary human cloak. However if you’re like me with a short memory, then that truth is often forgotten, which bring us to why we practice. We practice to remember who we already ARE! Not to become something we imagine will be better than we are now. Inevitably, as the years transpire, we will externally appear to change. I would say that this is not because we are becoming something different or even better, it is because we have cleared away more layers of falsity so that our inner lights, our inner truths, that have always been there and are changeless through time, are simply permeating through and shining more clearly, unobstructed. We become like a clear prism.

So I will continue to adjust my seat, gazing as best I can over the horizon of limitless view. When I inevitably forget, I will return (gratefully) to my practice.